A narcissistic controlling partner gradually erases your social life and makes you lonely, so that you will only have him to depend on, to love, and to call family and friends. A narcissistic spouse can be a wife as well as a husband. Cruelty and narcissistic traits don't have to do anything with the gender, however, for the convenience of writing, we are using "He" instead of "He/She", and also the cultural beliefs at most places subtly support abuse of a woman by their man.
He does follow things to control your social life: -
1)
He pits you against people you are on
good terms with. He keeps an eye on every move and every word exchanged between you
two so that he can take note of what can be used for pitting.
2)
Whenever you have any good times with
your loved ones, he would find something to be upset about and make you feel
guilty so that you gradually minimize your time with them to avoid him being
upset.
3)
If ever you share any negative feelings
about your family or friends during most emotional and intimate moments with
your husband, he will reveal that information to them later to create
misunderstandings.
4)
He will act like a gentleman and caring
husband in front of them so that if you ever try to share his abusive behavior
nobody will believe you and will think of you as a problem in a relationship and
not him.
5)
He takes advantages of your differences
in opinion with your loved ones. Suppose if you like an idea which your family
or friends do not support, then in their presence, he will make sure to side
with them and not you. He loves to see you struggle alone. Also, he will also
try to convince them how unreasonable you are in most cases.
6)
He will try to get as much as possible
information about all your relationships as soon as you two start living
together.
7)
He will force you to visit those family
and friends you take less interest because there he can smell of some chances
of “differences” and he will feel empowered by putting you in an embarrassing
situation where you have to either tell him about those “differences” or visit
someone you are not on good terms to give him some “showtime”.
8)
He takes a special interest in
socializing with those people (of your circle) who do not respect you because he
feels empowered by tearing you down.
A gentleman will never be insecure to a
level to ruin your other relationships to feel superior. A toxic intimate
partner, on the other hand, to make you weak and unsupported, will work hard to
ruin your relationships with your family and friends. And while doing so he
will himself keep staying in their good books as a “Gentleman”. He does this so
that nobody will believe you and you will have no support from them when he abuses
you.
What else do you think they do in relationships to control the social life of their partners? Please share your opinions and experiences in the comments below.
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