We
all turn to friends we trust, in our good and bad times for suggestions and
feedbacks. Also, we share our problems and frustrations of life with them. But
among these friends, there can be "controlling manipulators" who
might be taking advantage of your trust and controlling your life for their
benefit. These control freaks are more interested in what they can achieve from
the issues of your life rather than trying to help you to make your life
better. You could be merely a peg in their game of chess and your life issues
serve as a chessboard for them, even without you knowing any bit of this
happening under your nose. Some controlling manipulatives can go to the extent
of exhausting you physically and mentally and causing a huge disturbance in
your life. Let us discuss some characteristics which can help you identify
these predators.
Controlling Friends: This type of
control freaks we encounter in an early stage of our life. A friend (or a best
friend) could be the one, if shows the following characteristics: -
1.
Having a lot of
friends other than you but having control over who you associate with.
2.
Wanting to know everything about your romantic
life however keeping their affairs quite personal.
3.
Expecting you to comply with their likes and
dislikes and talking sarcastically when you do not and sometimes even get
furious when you take a stand for yourself.
4.
Expect you to be available for them
twenty-four by seven however themselves having a routine of their choice.
5. Occasionally give incredibly special treatment
to keep you attached to them.
6. Are very sympathetic when you are facing lows
in life but not happy for you when you are having a great time away from them.
7. Are jealous of your
achievements and are not able to appreciate and celebrate wholeheartedly.
8. Try to keep you
behind them by subtle acts not just in various areas of life but also. For
Example, while talking to people in a group they might stand right in front of
you so that you are less visible and approachable as compared to them.
9. Feel unhealthy
competition with you when it comes to relationships and friendships with people
of the opposite sex. They may try to control how much you associate with people
of the opposite sex, especially common friends, by mediating between you two.
10.
Guilt trip you into
doing their personal tasks, like homework, and other peroneal chores because
you are their friend.
11.
Intimidating you on
achieving something big that they don't have or on acquiring a skill that they
lag in.
12.
Sharing or taking
credits for your efforts in group activities without taking your concern.
13.
Intimidating you for
liking a person they don't get along well with.
14.
They may
occasionally spend money on you to keep in control and keep you obliged whereas
some controlling friends manipulate you into spending on them. They will use
finance to control you in some way or the other.
15.
When angry, they
blame you for treating them the way they are treating you. They project their
feelings and behavior onto you when in bad mood.
16.
Sometimes they take
you to places or events just so that they are not alone, however, they do not
treat you as an actual human association and are more interested in other
people and you are just a mannequin hanging around them.
17.
They make plans for
you when doing things together or in groups. Your plans and ideas always sound
boring stupid to them.
People
fall for such friends when they have low self-esteem and are co-dependent. By
taking care of our emotional health, we can unlearn these unhealthy patterns
and identify such toxic controlling relationships and can have a better life.
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