Girls Who Were Raised by Scared Parents

To all the girls and women (especially those from South Asian countries) reading this.............

As a psychologist and social media content creator, I’ve listened to countless stories from women across all age groups and backgrounds. What strikes me repeatedly is how many girls are raised in environments where control is mistaken for care, and silence is demanded in the name of “honor.”

If your parents didn’t allow you to exchange a notebook or speak with decent male classmates, yet remained silent when strangers or unsafe men made you uncomfortable with their stares or inappropriate touch — know this:

It was never about protecting you. It was about protecting their image.

If they warned you of dire consequences for forming innocent friendships with boys, but showed no outrage when a pervert harassed you in public — that wasn’t protection.

That was fear-based control disguised as love.

If they stopped you from going out alone, not because the world is unsafe, but because “what will people say” if something happens —If you were always accompanied by a younger sibling, not for your safety but to keep an eye on you —

Then it was never about your well-being.

It was about their reputation.

And if they spent years ensuring you appeared "pure" and "pious," only to marry you off to someone who was the exact opposite — someone who destroyed the purity of your soul and body in the worst ways — then it's clear:

Their decisions were never rooted in your happiness. They were rooted in social appearances.

There are families who fear their daughters’ voices and friendships, but turn a blind eye when those same daughters suffer emotional, mental, or sexual abuse in marriages arranged "for honor."

If you relate to any of this, I want you to reflect on one truth:

This was not your fault.

And this was never about love.

This is a pattern many girls endure. And as someone who works with women every day, I say this with compassion and clarity —

It's time we recognize the difference between care and control.

Real love prioritizes the child, not the family’s name.

Real protection supports autonomy, not surveillance.

— Annu Pandey

Counseling Psychologist | Mental Health Advocate

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