I’m Finding Therapy Hard… Is That Okay?

 

Struggling to Follow Through on Your Therapy Action Plan? 

Here’s Why It’s Okay

Many people enter therapy with the best intentions, ready to journal, set boundaries, challenge negative thoughts, or practice self-care. But when the time comes, they find themselves avoiding the very things they planned to do. If this sounds familiar, you might be feeling guilty, frustrated, or even questioning whether therapy is working for you.

The truth is, you are not failing at therapy. You are healing, and healing is not a linear process. There are many reasons why following through on an action plan can feel difficult, and understanding them can help you navigate this journey with more self-compassion.

One common reason is emotional overload. Healing requires energy, and sometimes, your mind and body are simply too exhausted to take on even small tasks. If you’ve been in survival mode for a long time, prioritizing rest over action is not a failure, it’s a necessary step in your recovery.

Fear of change is another factor. Even when you want to heal, a part of you may resist. Change is uncomfortable, even when it’s positive. Your brain is wired for familiarity, and stepping into the unknown, even for the sake of growth, can trigger internal resistance. This isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s simply how the mind works.

Then there’s perfectionism and self-doubt. The thought of “If I can’t do it perfectly, why even try?” can be paralyzing. But therapy is not about doing things flawlessly, it’s about taking small steps, however imperfect they may be. Progress is not measured in giant leaps; sometimes, just thinking about the action plan is a step forward.

Another challenge comes from unrealistic expectations. Sometimes, the goals set in therapy may not align with your emotional capacity at that moment. That doesn’t mean you’re not trying hard enough, it just means the plan needs to be adjusted to better fit where you are right now.

Subconscious self-sabotage can also play a role. If, deep down, you’ve been conditioned to believe that you don’t deserve healing, you may unconsciously resist it. Recognizing this pattern is not a reason for self-judgment, it’s an opportunity for self-awareness, which is an essential part of growth.

If you find yourself struggling with your action plan, here’s what not to do:

• Don’t avoid your therapy session just because you feel “unprepared.” Therapy isn’t a performance, you don’t need to show results, just honesty.

• Don’t judge yourself for struggling. You wouldn’t shame a friend for the same thing, so extend that kindness to yourself.

• Don’t assume therapy isn’t working. Healing happens in layers, and sometimes, progress is happening even when it doesn’t feel like it.

Instead, try this:

• Be honest about what’s hard. If the action plan felt overwhelming, discuss it in therapy. Adjustments can always be made.

• Acknowledge small wins. Even considering doing the task but not following through shows awareness, and that is progress.

• Practice self-compassion. Struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing, it means you’re learning.

• Show up anyway. Your therapist is there to support you, even when things don’t go as planned.

Therapy is not about achieving perfection. It’s about learning, growing, and showing up for yourself, even on the hard days. Some weeks will be more difficult than others, and that’s okay. The most important thing is to keep going. Give yourself grace, recognize that healing takes time, and know that every step forward, no matter how small, is still a step in the right direction.

You've Got This 💗

Annu Pandey

Author and Trauma-Informed Counselling Psychologist