Are You Really Healing from Narcissistic Abuse?


Am I Healing from Narcissistic Abuse?

I know that healing from narcissistic abuse can feel confusing at times. You make progress, and then something happens—a setback, a trigger—and suddenly you wonder, “Am I really healing at all?” Those doubts are completely normal, and they don’t mean you’re failing. Healing isn’t a straight path. In fact, it’s a journey with twists and turns, and it’s okay to feel uncertain along the way. What matters is noticing the signs of real growth and giving yourself credit for each step forward.

Real Signs of Healing from Narcissistic Abuse are:

1. Rebuilding Self-Esteem
One of the most significant indicators of healing is the restoration of your self-worth. Narcissistic abuse often erodes your confidence, leaving you dependent on external validation. As you heal, you begin to recognize your inherent value and capabilities, independent of others' opinions. This shift marks a profound reclaiming of your identity. (Charlie Health)

2. Establishing Healthy Boundaries
Healing involves learning to set and maintain boundaries. You become more attuned to your limits and needs, and you practice saying "no" without guilt. This empowerment protects you from further emotional harm and fosters healthier relationships. (Simply Psychology)

3. Emotional Balance
A sign of recovery is experiencing fewer intense emotional fluctuations. Symptoms like anxiety, depression, and intrusive thoughts diminish, allowing you to engage more fully in life. While challenges may arise, they no longer incapacitate you. (Simply Psychology)

4. Cognitive Clarity
Abusive relationships can cloud your judgment and memory. As you heal, your cognitive functions improve. You regain focus, clarity, and a stronger sense of reality, enabling better decision-making and self-awareness. (Simply Psychology)

5. Reduced Preoccupation with the Abuser
A significant milestone is when thoughts of the abuser diminish. You no longer ruminate on the past relationship, allowing you to focus on the present and future with greater optimism. (Simply Psychology)

6. Acceptance of the Truth
Healing involves acknowledging the reality of the abuse. You come to terms with the fact that the relationship was not based on genuine love but on manipulation and control. This acceptance is crucial for moving forward. (Simply Psychology)


❌ What Healing from Narcissistic Abuse Is Not:

1. A Linear Process
Recovery is not a straight path. You may experience setbacks or moments of doubt. These are natural parts of the healing journey and do not signify failure.

2. Forgetting the Past
Healing doesn't mean erasing the past. It's about integrating the experience, learning from it, and using it to build a stronger, more resilient self.

3. Immediate Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a personal choice and may not be part of everyone's healing process. It's okay if you're not ready to forgive the abuser. Your healing is valid regardless of this.

4. A Return to the Abuser
Healing does not means you should reconcile with the person who caused harm. In many cases, survivors maintain distance for their well-being.


Embracing Your Healing Journey

Noticing the signs of healing can feel empowering. It’s proof of your strength and your commitment to reclaiming your life. Healing isn’t about being perfect—it’s about making progress, even if it’s slow. Be gentle with yourself, reach out for support when you need it, and trust that you have the ability to heal.

If you’d like more guidance, there are therapists (Phoenix) and support groups (Narcissistic Abuse Survivors and Warriors Welcomed ) that specialize in recovery from narcissistic abuse. You don’t have to navigate this journey alone—there are people who understand and can walk alongside you.

I know that healing from narcissistic abuse can feel confusing at times. You make progress, and then something happens—a setback, a trigger—and suddenly you wonder, “Am I really healing at all?” Those doubts are completely normal, and they don’t mean you’re failing. Healing isn’t a straight path. In fact, it’s a journey with twists and turns, and it’s okay to feel uncertain along the way. What matters is noticing the signs of real growth and giving yourself credit for each step forward.

Remember, you’re doing the best you can, and every step forward counts. Sending you a big hug 🤗

Annu Pandey

Author & Psychologist


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