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Staying in an abusive relationship for a long time can cause detrimental effects on physiological and psychological health. Victims have a hard time living a normal functional life due to the changes and dysfunctionalities registered in the brain, nervous system, and overall body due to stress from various forms of abuse. Here are some coping strategies that can be used for survival.
Coping skills
Coping skills can prove effective in dealing with stress if the skills adopted are suited to the needs of the individual. In simple terms, it can be described as ways in which a person tries to deal with the stress experienced by him or her.
There are four types of coping skills adopted by people as per their preferences:- Avoidant, Emotional Focused, Proactive, and Problem Focused.
Avoidant: Avoiding stressful situations.
Emotion Focussed: Managing emotional reaction towards the events causing stress.
Proactive: Directly confronting stressful events. This coping style helps develop a better idea about the stress-creating situation.
Problem Focussed: Identification of the source of the problem to understand how to deal, modify or eliminate it.
Stress Management Techniques
There are several physical and mental effects of stress on an individual going through abuse of adversities of life various techniques suggested by professionals and scriptures that can be used for dealing with stress.
The various stress management techniques are relaxation techniques, meditation, mindfulness, cognitive restructuring, and so on.
1. Relaxation Techniques
Relaxation techniques can be used to reduce muscle tension caused due to stress. Muscles tense as a reflex action to guard oneself against injury and harm and relax back when the event passes. When someone has spent considerable time in abusive relationships or adverse life situations, these muscles do not relax independently. Tense muscles cause dysfunction in different body organs, leading to various physiological ailments affecting the overall quality of life.
Relaxation exercises should be carried out in free time, in isolated space, undistracted, and while being conscious of any potential problems like backache, fractures, or other injuries.
JACOBSON'S PROGRESSIVE MUSCLE RELAXATION TECHNIQUE
STEP 1. Relaxing Hands
Clench each fist separately (right & left), feel the tension in the fist and forearm respectively for 5 seconds Release the fist, relax and feel relaxation for 10 seconds
STEP 2. Relaxing Arms
Bend each arm separately (right &left) up at the elbow and tense the biceps, keeping the hand relaxed, feel the tension for 5 seconds. Release the arm, relax and feel relaxation for 10 seconds
Straighten the arm separately (right &left) and tense the triceps leaving the lower arms supported by the chair with the hands relaxed, feel tensing for 5 seconds. Relax and feel relaxation for 10 seconds
STEP 3. Relaxing Facial Muscles
Wrinkle your forehead; try to make your eyebrows touch your hairline which produces tension, feel the tension for 5 seconds. Release the eyes brows relax and feel relaxation for 10 seconds.
Close your eyes and screw the muscles around the eyes for 5 seconds. Release, relax and feel relaxation for 10 seconds.
Tense the jaw by biting the teeth together, feel the tension in the jaw muscles for 5 seconds. Release, relax and feel relaxation for 10 seconds
Press the tongue hard and flat against the roof of the mouth with lips closed notice tension in the throat and feel it for 5 seconds. Release, relax and feel relaxation for 10 seconds.
STEP 4. Relaxing Neck & shoulder
Push the head back as far as it will go (against a chair), feel the tension for 5 seconds. Bring the head to its position, relax and feel relaxation for 10 seconds.
Bring the head down and press the chin down onto the chest for 5 seconds. Bring the head to its position, relax and feel relaxation for 10 seconds.
Tense shoulder by tightening and shrinking shoulders ( Shrug your shoulders up to your ears ), feel the tension for 5 seconds. Release, relax and feel relaxation for 10 seconds.
STEP 5. Relaxing Chest
Take a deep breath, completely filling the lungs, hold the breath for few seconds and passively exhale. Relax and feel relaxation for 10 seconds.
STEP 6. Relaxing Stomach
Pull in the stomach and tense the stomach muscle for 5 seconds. Release the stomach, relax and feel relaxation for 10 seconds
STEP 7. Relaxing Back
Arch your back away from the chair feel tension for 5 seconds. Relax and feel relaxation for 10 seconds.
STEP 8. Relaxing Thighs & Buttocks
Tens both thigh muscles and buttocks by squeezing muscles together and feel tensing for 5 seconds. Release the muscles, relax and feel relaxation for 10seconds.
STEP 9. Relaxing Lower Legs
Point toes towards your head, producing tension in calf muscles, feel tensing for 5 seconds. Relax and feel relaxation for 10 seconds.
Point the toes away from the head, feel the tension for 5 seconds. Relax and feel relaxation for 10 seconds
STEP 10. Relaxing Toes
Relax and feel relaxation for 10 seconds.
STEP 11. After Exercises
Relax whole body completely
Keep your eyes closed and let yourself remain in the relaxed position
Open your eyes and enjoy renewed energy, feel relaxed and refreshed.
Sit up, stretch, and stand up slowly, and do not make any jerky movements.
References: 1. Keith Hawton, Paul M Salkovskis, Joan Kirk, David M Clark (1989) Cognitive Behavior Therapy for Psychiatric Problems. A Practical Guide, Oxford University Press, India, pp. 472.
2. Mediation
Meditation is the English word for "Dhyana" which means quieting the mind from outer disturbances and focusing on relaxation for attaining awareness and spiritual growth. Meditation also relaxes the body and hence reduces the negative impact of stress.
There are different types of meditations like Transcendental meditation, Vipassana meditation, Guided meditation, Mindfulness meditation, Metta meditation, and chakra Meditation.
Transcendental meditation
This is chanting of mantra or maha-mantra repeatedly for fix number of times usually 108 times on a chanting bead. This is primarily done as a spiritual practice but it also has immense positive effects on physical and mental health. This should be done in a quiet place while focussing fully on the words chanted without any mental or physical distractions. Duration can vary from 15 minutes to 2 hours depending upon the manta.
Vipassana meditation
It involves focussing on different bodily sensations to create a connection between body and mind which helps in self-observation and hence transformation.
Guided meditation
In this method, a guide helps to visualize relaxing and comforting images and scenarios with closed eyes in a quiet place while sitting or lying in a comfortable position.
Mindfulness meditation
This is done by sitting comfortably in a quiet place and honestly focusing on one's thoughts and emotions without being judgemental.
Metta meditation
This is done by sitting at a quiet place in a comfortable position, doing several deep breaths, and then directing love and kindness towards others by repeatedly saying words that express love, kindness, and gratitude towards other people in one's life.
Chakra Meditation.
This involves bringing equilibrium in the seven chakras of our body.
3. Yoga
Yoga is essentially a spiritual discipline based on an extremely subtle science, which focuses on bringing harmony between mind and body. It is an art and science of healthy living. The word ‘Yoga’ is derived from the Sanskrit root ‘Yuj’, meaning ‘to join’ or ‘to yoke’ or ‘to unite’. As per Yogic scriptures, the practise of Yoga leads to the union of individual consciousness with that of the Universal Consciousness, indicating a perfect harmony between the mind and body, Man & Nature.
( Source: https://www.mea.gov.in/search-result.htm?25096/Yoga:_su_origen,_historia_y_desarrollo)
Yoga consists of Asanas (bodily postures), breathing exercises, and meditation.
The three main types of Yoga are Karma Yoga, Bhakti Yoga, and Jnana Yoga. Yoga works on the level of one’s body, mind, emotion, and energy. This has given rise to four broad classifications of Yoga: karma yoga, where we utilize the body; bhakti yoga, where we utilize the emotions; gyana yoga, where we utilize the mind and intellect; and kriya yoga, where we utilize the energy.
( Source: https://www.mea.gov.in/search-result.htm?25096/Yoga:_su_origen,_historia_y_desarrollo)
1. BHAKTI YOGA: Yoga related to devotion.
2. KARMA YOGA: Yoga is related to one's actions.
3. JNANA Yoga: Yoga related to knowledge.
Yoga Asanas
Some important types of yoga asanas beneficial for stress management are:-
Padmasana or Lotus Pose
Sukhasana
Siddhasana
Vajrasana
Trikonasana
Bhujangasana
Note: All poses must be done under the strict supervision of specialist Yoga Instructors only, as any deviation from the desired pose may cause potential harm.
Pranayama: Pranayama is the yogic practice of focusing on the breath. Prana means "vital life force", and Yama means to gain control. In yoga, breath is associated with the prana, thus, pranayama is a means to elevate the Prana Shakti or life energies. In texts like the Bhagawad Gita and the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, and later in Hatha Yoga texts, it meant the complete suspension of breathing.
Pranayama is mentioned in verse 4.29 of the Bhagawad Gita( Source: Wikipedia)
Pranayam helps reduce stress and is good for the body also.
The process :
Put right thumb on the right nostril and deeply inhale through the left nostril.
Close your left nostril with your right index finger and hold your breath for few seconds.
Exhale through your right nostril.
Repeat the process with the left nostril.
5. Mindfulness
This method involves sitting at a secluded place away from distractions and paying attention to our thoughts and emotions. Practising this exercise regularly gradually makes us a mindful person, one who is aware of his thoughts and emotions all day log during daily activities and not just during the mindfulness session. Becoming mindful can do wonders to the various areas of our lives and relationships
6. Biofeedback
Biofeedback is a technique used to learn to control one's bodily functions. The process involves connecting a person to electrical sensors that display information about his body. Therapists use various biofeedback methods depending on your health problems and goals. Biofeedback types include Brain waves, Breathing, Heart rate, Muscle contraction, Sweat gland activity, and Temperature.
(Source: https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/biofeedback/about/pac-20384664
Knowing and understanding the biofeedback can help the person in manipulating and controlling them.
Note:
The contents of this blog are for informational purposes only and, are not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please seek the advice of a qualified mental health professional with any questions you have regarding a medical health condition.
All types of practices are safe and give the best results when done under a professional's supervision.
Also Read:-
Complex-PTSD: The Price You Pay For Staying In An Abusive Relationship.
17 Subtle Signs A Woman Is Romantically Interested In Your Partner.
8 Things Narcissists Do To Control Your Social Life.
No, You Are Not Crazy! You Are Being Gaslighted.
14 Reasons Why Women Don't "Just Leave" Abusive relationships?
14 Signs Your Partner Is Controlling.
17 Signs Of A Controlling Manipulative Friend?
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Holy Narcissists: 14 Reasons why narcissists hide in religious communities.
Why Having A Baby Won't Fix Your Marriage.
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10 Steps to save your child from abuse at school.
4 Tips For Protecting Your Child from Abuse at Day Care.
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"Burn Book" for EMOTIONAL AWARENESS.
Is It Better To Be Single Or In A Relationship With A Narcissist? - A comparative analysis .
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10 Ways In Which A Narcissist Makes You Regret Having A Conversation With Them.
10 Reasons Why You Cannot Heal While Still Being With A Narcissist.
Words Of Assurance For New Moms In Narcissistic Dysfunctional Nuclear Families.
Co-parenting With A Narcissist
Happiness Only Money Can Buy For Narc Abuse Victims
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Complex-PTSD: The Price You Pay For Staying In An Abusive Relationship.
My Youtube Videos on Narcissism:-
(Source: https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/biofeedback/about/pac-20384664
Knowing and understanding the biofeedback can help the person in manipulating and controlling them.
Note:
The contents of this blog are for informational purposes only and, are not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please seek the advice of a qualified mental health professional with any questions you have regarding a medical health condition.
All types of practices are safe and give the best results when done under a professional's supervision.
Also Read:-
Complex-PTSD: The Price You Pay For Staying In An Abusive Relationship.
17 Subtle Signs A Woman Is Romantically Interested In Your Partner.
8 Things Narcissists Do To Control Your Social Life.
No, You Are Not Crazy! You Are Being Gaslighted.
14 Reasons Why Women Don't "Just Leave" Abusive relationships?
14 Signs Your Partner Is Controlling.
17 Signs Of A Controlling Manipulative Friend?
Why Does He Do That? What’s wrong with abusive men?
Do this to control your anger towards your kids.
Difference between Fear and Anxiety.
This Could Be The Reason Why Your Soul Is Exhausted.
Panic Attack: Simplified for the layman.
This is why people love your abuser while they hate you!
32 Simple Reasons Why Someone is Not Texting You Back.
Holy Narcissists: 14 Reasons why narcissists hide in religious communities.
Why Having A Baby Won't Fix Your Marriage.
20 Things Narcissists Say When They Are Gaslighting You.
This will happen if you idealize your abusive parents.
What Is Love, and What Isn't?
Trauma bonding: How your brain fools you into thinking that you are in love.
9 tips for surviving this valentine's without love from outside.
14 Ways to Find Out if Someone Has a Crush on You!
18 Things to do if you want to raise mentally and physically strong kids.
6 Tips for detoxing sibling bonds in dysfunctional families.
5 Things parents do to empower their daughters that actually harm them.
Shocking reasons why nobody respects you and 18 steps to fix it!
10 Steps to save your child from abuse at school.
4 Tips For Protecting Your Child from Abuse at Day Care.
Forgiveness- What It Is, What It's Not!
16 Tips For Setting Boundaries with Adult Children.
"Burn Book" for EMOTIONAL AWARENESS.
Is It Better To Be Single Or In A Relationship With A Narcissist? - A comparative analysis .
20 Signs Someone Actually, Genuinely likes you.
13 Warning Signs of A Spiritual Narcissist and How To Deal With Them.
What Exactly is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
13 Warning Signs Your Husband is Abusive & Outright Dangerous.
Should you stay friends with an ex?
The Narcissistic Family Tree
This Is Why Some People Cannot Help Being Sad And Miserable : If You Had Controlling Parents
10 Signs You Have a Lousy Spouse!
16 Tips for Dealing with your Toxic Parents
Protecting Children From Sexual Abuse| When You Are A Stay At Home Parent.
How To NOT Preach A Family With Domestic Violence Issues ?| A Word For Preachers and Clergy Men!
Why Is Spirituality Important?
What does Depression Looks like?
18 Tips For Happy, Anxiety-Free And Peaceful Life Amidst The Covid Crisis.
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Why You Might Feel Like the Most Emotional And Sensitive Person
When Mothers Day Hurts: Dysfunctional Families
10 Ways In Which A Narcissist Makes You Regret Having A Conversation With Them.
10 Reasons Why You Cannot Heal While Still Being With A Narcissist.
Words Of Assurance For New Moms In Narcissistic Dysfunctional Nuclear Families.
Co-parenting With A Narcissist
Happiness Only Money Can Buy For Narc Abuse Victims
How to survive love bombing?
Human Rights : Know Your Entitlement
Complex-PTSD: The Price You Pay For Staying In An Abusive Relationship.
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